Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
