when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
