I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
