is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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