All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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