after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
