Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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