No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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