Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
