you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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