i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize