If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My feet surprised me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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