she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
