dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
