Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
