..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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