dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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