the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
