This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
