4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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