Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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