What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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