Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
