You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
