hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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