Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
