I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
