if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Michael Bay diarrhea
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
