Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
