Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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