my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
