Do you still have your period?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Randomize