i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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