false alarm. still invincible.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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