It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
