I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
