I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
