I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
