pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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