So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
