i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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