He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize