Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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