When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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