I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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