im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
