I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
