Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
