this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize