I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
