lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
this will be a night to untag.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
