How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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