So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
