He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Please, let me fuck your mom
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
40s are totally the cure
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
