Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
