I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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