I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
