I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
