In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
